CHANGES CAN BE SCARY…

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Only great changes can show us how strong and hardy we are. Only changes are able to prove who is our real friend and who is a fake. So don’t be afraid of changes – they are painful, but you’ll see who is who, after all.

Willing to fight for your happiness is half the battle. First of all, you should listen to your heart and try to find what really makes you happy.

Life will drag you down, because it makes the strongest people fight. There is a saying I believe: “Life only makes the strongest soldiers fight, because it knows that everyone else is already crawling on their knees”. Continue reading

Happiness is something not everyone has………..

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Life is just a roller-coaster filled with ups and down, and even crashes, but everything is meant to be, live to see your amazing future, and never give up!

Never give up and always remember that the most difficult roads often lead to the most amazing places.

People have to admit that there’s no unified happiness for everybody. People are different and their ideas on what happiness is are also different. And that’s okay, because it means that the world is full of things that can make us truly happy.

Life is just an amazing book that we all write ourselves. Some chapters are sad, and some are really great, but they all are emotional and inspiring. That is the thing. Try to live your life at full and you’ll never regret a single chapter of it.

These days, people are so afraid to be different, to change something in their life, because they are afraid to be judged by other people. But you should learn that everyone goes through changes. It’s okay to change something that doesn’t work for you.

Happiness is something not everyone has, but it’s the thing that everyone wants,
Once you have it, never take it for granted.
Never waist it and forget about it, because some people would kill to be happy!

WHAT IS HAPPINESS?

What is happiness?
It is a feeling of exhilaration, satisfaction and lack of worries and anxieties.
You usually experience happiness when everything is okay, when plans proceed as expected, and when you are loved or respected.
You experience happiness when you get what you want, when doing something you love doing, when a goal is achieved, or while being in a beautiful place, such as at the beach, when the sun is setting.
If you could look inside you, when you are happy, you will discover that at these moments there are no worries, fears or obsessing thoughts. This means that happiness and inner peace are interconnected.
Happiness, often, seems to be the result of positive events, but actually, it comes from the inside, triggered by external events. It usually seems to be fleeting and temporary, but when you learn to choose, and to allow happiness into your life, it gradually becomes more permanent.
10 Tips to Help You Choose to Be Happy
1. Find the good and positive in every situation.
This is not difficult. In every situation there must be something good, happy or amusing. Why not focus on it?
Your mind might drag you down, to think about negativity and difficulties, because that’s how it is accustomed to think. Don’t let it.
Endeavor to change the way you look at things, focusing more on the bright side of life.
2. Focus on solutions.
It is very easy to find problems and difficulties everywhere, because it requires nothing, but a negative attitude. Instead of focusing on the problems, focus on solutions.
3. Watch your thoughts.
Whenever you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, change them to pleasant thoughts. Do this time and again.
4. Watch funny movies.
Prefer to watch funny comedies that make you laugh, rather than thrillers and violent movies, especially before bed time.
5. Reading
Each day, find the time to read a few pages from an inspiring book or article.
6. Look at what you have already accomplished and focus on it.
Often, we start the day with the intention of completing several goals or tasks, but we are unable to complete them.
At the end of the day you might feel frustrated and unhappy, because you haven’t been able to do all of those things.
It would be wise to be more reasonable and use common sense, instead of deciding without thinking. When you set more reasonable goals and tasks, you have less chance of being disappointed and unhappy.
Don’t let frustration, and the inability to carry out everything you set out to do to ruin your happiness. Focus on what you have already accomplished. This will awaken satisfaction, and sense of happiness.
7. Each day do something good for yourself.
It can be something small, such buying a book, baking a cake, going to the theater, visiting friends, or inviting friends to your house.
8. Seek the company of happy people.
Happiness is contagious. If you are in the company of happy people, there is a great chance that you will be infected by their happiness, provided you don’t focus on unhappiness while in their company.
9. Don’t take anything too personally.
Do your best to stay a little detached when things do not progress as want them to progress.
Don’t allow negative remarks or behavior affect you mind and feelings. You might not succeed the first, second or third time, but if you are persistent, you will eventually succeed.
Detachment will help you stay calm and control your moods and reactions.
10. Listen to relaxing, uplifting music.
It is said that music is the language of the soul. Listen often, to relaxing music, or any kind of music that uplifts your spirit.

DISCOVER YOUR HAPPY PATTERN

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“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.”

On a beautiful sunny morning, while walking to work, you meet someone, who asked you for a small loan, months ago, but haven’t paid back yet. He smiles at you, says a nice “good morning”, and keeps walking.

How would you react in this situation?DISCOVER YOUR HAPPY PATTERN

You might think:

“What is he thinking? Does he think that I have amnesia?”

“He might at least show some respect, and say that he is doing his best to pay me back the loan.”

The encounter with him might ruin your day. You’ll probably keep thinking all day long about the friend and the loan you gave him, while feeling angry and resentful.

Every day, we go through many similar incidents. Some of them are easy to deal with, some are a bit unpleasant, and some are annoying, disturbing and sometimes, unbearable.

You need to make a choice.

You need to make a choice and stand by it, to accept to be unhappy or to choose to feel happy.

  1. You can choose to dwell on an unhappy event all day long. You may also choose to refuse to think about it, and focus on other events that make you feel happy and bring a smile to your face.
  2. You might have experienced unpleasantness. You might have suffered from some humiliation, disrespect or anger, but you do not have to let them influence your reactions and feelings.
  3. You might not be able to change people’s behavior, but you can control your reactions, your response, and whether to let their behavior and their actions affect you.

If you let external events influence your moods, you will be at the mercy of these forces and influences. You will lose your inner poise and your happiness. You will allow your happiness to be determined by other people and by external influences.

Choose happiness, contentment and joy as a way of life.

Choose to be happy, and strive, no matter how difficult it might be, to reject, ignore and refuse to associate with unhappy thoughts and feelings.

This would require some effort on your part. Sometimes, you might fall back into the habit of dwelling on unhappiness, but gradually, you will learn to be happy and content.

Choose to free yourself from outer influences. Prefer happiness to unhappiness. It is your attitude that makes you feel happy or unhappy.

Be inspirational sharp

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Inspiration comes in many forms and can strike randomly.  Some days we have an abundance of creative energy which comes naturally, other days it’s not so easy.  Writing, music, art and design all help me foster internal creativity, and I know you probably feel the same way.

There are a ton of blogs dedicated to inspiration, and while that is not the main theme I write on here, I do enjoy sharing some of my philosophies on life with you from time to time.

I find it extremely useful when other bloggers write quick lists highlighting articles they enjoyed writing because it is pretty easy to miss a post if you follow a lot of blogs.

The importance of keeping your mind sharp cannot be overstated. We’re all part of a fantastic intellectual and information economy, which thrives on ideas, creativity and intelligence. Keeping your mind sharp is sure to give you the edge over the competition, and more importantly lead to your own higher levels of happiness.Don't Be Afraid to Make Mistakes (2)

When your mind is in top shape, you will:

  • Have greater motivation and focus
  • Get more done
  • Come up with more creative ideas
  • Find inspiration more often
  • Remember more
  • Experience a better life

I’d like to share a few practices I’ve found are extremely beneficial in keeping my mind sharp and can help you as well:

1) Continue reading, absorbing knowledge and experiencing culture
Sorry to use a clichéd quote, but education is not preparation for life, education is life itself.It should be something pleasurable and done for intrinsic reasons above all else. Read blogs on subjects both within your field and in new fields you know nothing about; read books; watch lectures on fascinating new subjects; read about ancient societies; take in a new form of art you’ve never experienced; you get the idea. Challenge your mind to continually broaden your horizon and soak up new information like an infinite sponge (that’s pretty much what it is, you should use it to do just that).

2) Learn a skill or craft you’ve never tried before like playing an instrument, composing music, painting, building a model airplane, or even coding computer programs.
Engage your mind in learning a new skill. You’re never too old to do this, but this is definitely something you should start as young as you can. I started composing my own music at around 17, and in retrospect I wish I had started even younger. You’d be surprised how much learning a new skill will open up many new paths in your mind and help you become even better at whatever you are already an expert at. You’ll also open yourself up to tons of new connections and intellectual social circles by engaging yourself in a new hobby, form of art, or trade.

3) To improve memory don’t write everything down
If you can, try this for a week: write down everything you need to do at the beginning of the week, as you normally would, but take your list and put it out of sight. Instead of keeping that list visible at your desk, internalize your projects and simply remember and know what needs to be done, prioritize it in your mind, and do it. Your brain is extremely powerful and you’ll find that, in time, you may not have to write anything down to remember everything (you can still keep a list for reference, but it’s great not to need it).

4) Give your mind time to assimilate knowledge
We live in a culture where we are constantly experiencing and learning new things and taking in new information. This is a great thing, I’m not going to go into the information overload spiel, I don’t really believe in that anyway (you are in total control over how much information you take in at once). But in your process of absorbing new skills, knowledge and life experiences; internal analysis of yourself, what you have learned and where you are going is vital to put everything in proper perspective. Some people do it well during running, others through listening to music, and some people through making art. Find your own place that allows you to assimilate all you have learned and frequent it often.

5) Eat well, sleep well and exercise often
Giving your mind the proper rest and energy is essential to getting the best performance out of it. This one is pretty self explanatory, but people often forget that you need proper fuel and proper rest to function optimally. Also, putting your physical body through the paces is a surefire way to rejuvenate yourself mentally. If you’re ever feeling stressed, out of inspiration, or depressed, a few days of nutritious food, good sleep and vigorous exercise will put you back to your full self soon enough.

 

Don’t Be Afraid to Make Mistakes

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Don’t worry if you make mistakes. Only people who dare, try, and persevere, complete tasks and achieve success.

It is so comfortable to be passive, make no effort, and stick to the familiar. However, by doing so, we allow external influences shape your life.

Daring, trying new things, and making changes, seem intimidating. It is more comfortable to suffer, complain, and stay in the same place.

Why Daring Is Intimidating?

  • You afraid you might make mistakes.
  • You are afraid to look ridiculous.
  • You want to avoid criticism.
  • There is a lack of self-esteem.
  • There is a lack of self-confidence.

If you wish to let the above list intimidate you, and therefore, be unhappy, complain, and stay where you are, this is your choice. However, if you want to live a greater life, you should consider taking a step beyond your fears and start daring.

It is not so difficult to do.

It is a matter of attitude. It is a matter of changing your mindset. As the saying goes, ‘it is all in the mind’.

After the first step, it would seem less intimating to dare, even if you make mistakes and bad choices.

All people who achieved success, any kind of success, dared to try. They did mistakes, and they failed over and again, but they did not give up. Continue reading

Don’t Go Into Blogging If You Don’t Know These 7 Things

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Don’t Go Into Blogging If You Don’t Know These 7 Things

Blogging is a creative way to express your feelings, reach out to potential customers, and improve your communication skills. Whether you’re blogging for profit or fun, a blog gives you the power to communicate with people all over the world at the click of a mouse.
However, before you run off to publish your amazing blog, it’s important to know these seven blogging tips:

1. Be ridiculously good at one thing and write about that.

Are you a professional photographer who would like to reach out to potential clients? Compile the best photographs from every gig, put them in a blog post, and tell a story about why those pictures are special. Make sure to thank the people in the photos for allowing you the pleasure to work with them, because expressing gratitude for the clients you have will encourage potential clients to give you a chance.
Are you a self-published author who would like to sell more books? Write blogs about related ideas and share the occasional “preview chapter” of one of your works. Don’t forget to make your reader’s life easy by ending your blogs in a link that goes straight to your book listing!
Have you struggled with universal issues like poor body-image, yo-yo weight-gain, an abusive relationship? Express your feelings on a blog directed to people who struggle with the same thing. Tell them a story to inspire them. Offer them action steps and guidance. Be vulnerable and upfront about your struggles to connect with your readers emotionally. Expressing yourself is therapeutic, and helping others will give you a sense of purpose.

2. Determine who you are going to help.

Your blog isn’t about you; it’s about your reader. Ask yourself these questions to sharpen your message and ensure you’re writing with focus:
  • Who am I going to help?
If you don’t know what kind of reader you hope to engage, then you’ll probably find yourself performing for a crowd of none. Teenagers, college students, busy parents, and business owners all speak in a different language, so it would be absurd to think you could effectively express your idea to all of these people in the very same words. If you don’t know who your reader is, you won’t be able to connect with them on an emotional level; and if you can’t connect with your reader on an emotional level, no one will care about your blog.
  • How am I going to reach out to them?
Now that you know who your reader is, you need to figure out where they are. If you’re targeting busy professionals, you might want to join some networking groups on LinkedIn and share your articles there. If you’re writing for busy parents, you could join a parenting forum to meet like-minded people, and include a link to your blog in your profile. If your goal is to help people lose weight, there is an endless supply of weight-loss support groups on Facebook that might find your blogs helpful (just make sure you ask the group’s owner for permission before you share anything).
  • What makes them so special?
You need to know what makes your reader tick. Are there certain words or phrases they use to describe the world and how it relates to them? Do they prefer short action-based posts, or would they rather read a personal story that illustrates your point? If you don’t know the answers to these questions, that’s okay; experiment with as many blog styles and formats as you can. Pay attention to what formula results in the best reaction.
No matter how good you might be at writing, your effort could be for naught if you don’t pay proper respect to the elements of style. Style and substance are equally important. If your web design looks unattractive, blog layout is impossible to navigate, content is riddled in typos, or site loads at a sluggish pace, people will leave your blog and go elsewhere for their needs. Run your blog as if it’s a business. Oh, by the way, you just so happen to be the CEO of this business, so you don’t get to make any excuses.

4. Read first.

If you can’t even be troubled to read, it’s arrogant to think you have the chops to make it as a blogger. The best writers know that reading is essential to their growth process. When you’re so absorbed in a book’s plot that you can’t put it down, or are so in love with a blog that you spend hours digging through their archives, take a moment to ponder why you feel that way… because this is the very feeling you want to inspire in your reader. Continue reading

The Laziest Solution Possible

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Whenever there is a hard job to be done I assign it to a lazy man. He is sure to find an easy way of doing it.

-Walter Chrysler

Laziness is a fairly underrated virtue. It’s synonym made the short list of deadly sins (sloth) and it is often seen as the major culprit behind a lack of success (he’s smart but he lacks discipline). I happen to think the opposite. Laziness quite often means efficiency and when you combine laziness with a strong drive you end up with the desire to find the most efficient solution possible.

I’ve been called lazy more than a few times. Laziness allows me to ask questions that, “nose to the grindstone,” types would completely avoid. Here is a short list of important questions that lazy people ask of themselves that other people don’t:

  • Why am I doing this?
  • Why am I doing it this way?
  • What am I trying to get out of this?
  • Is this the best way to get this done?
  • What would happen if I didn’t do it at all?

I’ve been called lazy a few times by hard-working people simply because I ask those questions when they refuse to. I don’t do tasks that don’t have any apparent value. I’m ruthless in seeking a more efficient method to do something. And I challenge assumptions about what has to get done.

Laziness Helps You Refocus on What is Most Important

Being slothful in my approach to goal setting allows me to cut away anything that doesn’t have to be done. In working on big goals this is a crucial skill if you want to achieve them. Hard working people can end up spending days, weeks or months on one element of a goal only to realize that there was an available solution that could have taken less than half the time.

When working on my interactive goal-setting program, I started by designing my own interface code. But a few days into writing it, laziness kicked in and I couldn’t help feeling highly inefficient. Sure enough there was a plugin I could buy for a little over twenty bucks that offered the basic functionality I needed.

Laziness + Drive = Productivity

Lazy people aren’t lazy all the time. Unless the person has extremely low energy, even the laziest people still find time to surf the web, play games or socialize with friends. A lot of lazy people aren’t really lacking willpower, just some motivation.

Without a compelling drive being disciplined just makes you look busy to outside observers when you really aren’t getting anything done. Laziness only becomes apparent because without a strong drive, slothful people stop doing just about anything not necessary for survival or enjoyment.

I’m a lazy person at heart. Even though I woke up a little after five am to write this post and finish another chapter , deep down I’m a very lazy person. I need a compelling drive to keep me busy. Without a strong drive, I’d lay in bed until after noon and watch television all day.

But once you create that drive, either through explicitly setting goals or opening your imagination to new possibilities, laziness becomes a tool not a curse. Instead of using your laziness to avoid work, you use it to maximize your resources.

Laziness Beats Willpower (and Efficiency) Any Time

Willpower has it’s place, but for every drop of willpower you exert there should be a tonne of laziness that has been used before it. If you are having to use excessive willpower to reach a goal, often it is because you either haven’t created enough drive or you haven’t used enough laziness to discover a more efficient path.

I’m using laziness as more than just a synonym for efficiency. Efficiency is good, but often trying to be efficient doesn’t really ask the right questions. Simple efficiency asks, “How can I do this better.” It is true laziness that asks, “Why am I doing this in the first place?”

As a holistic learner I’ve never been big on studying. While everyone around me chastised me for laziness, I didn’t ask, “How can I study better?” I asked myself why I should bother to study at all. If I didn’t need to there wasn’t much point in spending time and exerting willpower for a similar grade.

True laziness takes a bit of courage as well. It can be very difficult for hardworking person to admit to themselves that they just wasted a bunch of time and energy on something that doesn’t matter.

Unleash the Laziness Within You

Be really lazy today. Whenever you have to do something, follow it up with the question, “Why?” If you can’t come up with a good answer, don’t do it. If it is a necessity for your job or survival, find the most efficient way to get it off your schedule. Delegate it to someone else. Find a way to get it done as soon as possible so you can move to more important things.

The Emperor Has No Clothes On Isn’t Getting Work Done

The scary part of being lazy is it leaves you naked. You no longer have your insulating cone of busyness to make you feel productive. The work you do actually has to mean something in order to get done. Instead of relying on willpower you rely on drive. Strip away your delusions of productivity by using this most underrated virtue.

How to Stop Making Excuses

“I don’t know how.”

“It probably wouldn’t have worked anyways.”

“I’m too busy.”

How often do you catch yourself making excuses. Instead of doing something, you come up with ways to explain your inaction. Excuse-makers are usually seen as weak, lazy or cowardly.

I believe this is an unfair generalization.

We all make excuses once in a while. Sometimes we make excuses and other times we stop rationalizing and take action. I’m sure most of us can remember times when we procrastinated and wasted days before starting a project. I’m also sure most of us can remember times we started immediately, and finished ahead of schedule.

The differences between these two cases could be described as a difference of willpower. When you procrastinated, you lacked willpower. But that isn’t helpful. If willpower is outside your direct control, then claiming willpower as a solution isn’t going to work.

Instead, I believe that the answer to stop making excuses lies has two steps:

  • Organizing your priorities.
  • Breaking large, uncomfortable steps into manageable pieces.

Organizing Your Priorities

What’s more important to you right now? Expanding your finances? Succeeding academically? Improving the quality of your relationships? Excuse making is the result of conflicting priorities. When you don’t have a system for making decisions, the tendency is to just go with whatever feels best in the moment.

You can clear this up by defining what your priorities are. The purpose is to aid when one event conflicts with another. If you have to decide between working on a school project or going on a date, you need to look at your priorities. Which ranks higher? Relationships or academic success.

Priorities clears up the need for excuse making, since it simplifies decisions with conflicting values.

With priorities it’s important to define your major focus and minor focuses. A major focus should get the benefit of any extra attention you have to devote to it. Minor focuses shouldn’t be abandoned, but your goal is to put them on autopilot so most your mental energies are devoted to your major focus.

To give an example, my major focus right now is this business. Earlier this year I realized that if I put a concentrated effort, I could tip the slide to where this business could support me full-time. I’m close to there now, but not quite over the line.

My minor focuses are my health, relationships, social life, Toastmasters and school. These minor focuses continue to be worked on while I improve my income. But most my mental attention is going into ways I can expand this website and offer more value.

Splitting your priorities into a single major focus and several minor focuses makes it far harder to put out excuses. Whenever a conflict arises where I would normally offer an excuse, I can simply think of my priorities. When priorities are clear, it is difficult to justify departing from them.

Breaking Down Discomfort

Mixed-up priorities are only a part of excuse-making. Unwillingness to step into uncomfortable situations is another. Success in almost any effort requires taking risks and facing failure. Becoming a great public speaker requires you get up in front of a big audience and possibly deliver a terrible speech.

The problem is when your priorities dictate you need to take a big step, and you can’t do it. This could mean wanting to improve your business, but not being willing to make cold calls or marketing your product.

What results is excuse-making. You find easier tasks to do and excuse your procrastination. Rationalize away the feeling that you don’t feel comfortable going forward.

The fix here is to break down uncomfortable steps. Laziness is just another manifestation of fear. So if you can’t take the next step, break it into smaller parts you can handle. If you can’t get up on stage to speak, try delivering your speech in front of a few friends. If you can’t make a cold call, try calling someone you already know.

Sometimes, however, a step can’t be broken down. You either need to face it entirely or not at all. In these situations you need to get leverage on yourself. Give a friend $100 of yours to hold onto until you follow through. Make a public commitment. Any of these steps will work.

The next time you catch yourself making an excuse, ask yourself? Does this fit within my priorities? If it doesn’t and you still find yourself making excuses ask yourself if there is any way you could push yourself through the next step.

You Suck. Get Over It

You Suck Updated Life isn’t a steady escalator. Sometimes getting better requires that you first get a lot worse. If you can’t admit to yourself that you suck at something, chances are it will hold you back from future improvements.

Pride, ego, fear of rejection, call it what you will. The result is the same. Part of you likes your temporary holdout in life. It isn’t the work that scares you, or even the unknown. It’s the fact that in order to move forward you have to get your hands dirty.

Examples of “I Suck” Moments Creating Progress

I’d like to argue that “I Suck” moments aren’t the rarity. Letting go of what you already have is a crucial part of many improvements. Here’s just a few examples of how failing to utilize “I Suck” moments could hold you back:

The Dead-End Job

You want to start a business. But you don’t know anything about business. In fact, you’re pretty sure it can’t compete with the salary you are already earning. Your job is comfortable, but it doesn’t make you want to leap out of bed each morning. Your choice is either to face the inevitable “I Suck” moment, ignore your pride and get started with your business. Or go back to working the job that will eventually suffocate you.

The Dull Relationship

You’ve been together for months but the passion isn’t there any more. But you haven’t been dating in awhile and you’re worried you can’t do any better. Your choice is either to stick with someone who isn’t right for you or admit you suck at dating but go through with it anyways.

The Out-of-Shape Body

It’s been years since you’ve hit the gym. Now you want to get back in shape, but it will mean departing from your days of youthful fitness. Your choice is to either admit you suck at exercising and struggle out with the basics of fitness and willpower others have mastered – or continue to live an unhealthy life.

The examples of “I Suck” moments being the deciding factor are numerous.

I have personally had many “I Suck” moments in my own life. As a shy, introverted kid it took a lot of pride-swallowing to admit I had to learn a lot about communication and socializing. I started on the bottom and faced more than a few failures. Now I have hundreds of friends and consider it to be a personal strength.faceken6.jpg

When I started this blog I was only Nineteen  and new to writing, blogging and hardly an expert. I had to face up to the “I Suck” moment and work hard to gain traffic. Looking at months of virtually no subscribers was just a small part of the ego-dissolving I needed to do.

How to Push Past the “I Suck” Moments

Nobody wants to be bad at something. Nobody wants to take a step backwards. Nobody wants to move from a comfort zone where you already kick-ass to one where you feel out of place. But sometimes it needs to be done.

Here’s just a few ideas I’ve found helpful for pushing past “I Suck” until you can eventually say “I’m Great!”

  • Cut Denial – The hardest step is admitting you have a problem. Admitting that an area of your life isn’t as great as you want it to be. Or facing the truth that your current direction, while comfortable, isn’t taking you anywhere.
  • Face Your Pain – Don’t fight it. If you feel crappy, search through it. Don’t dilute your depressed or uncomfortable feelings about a bad area of your life. Write out your thoughts and feeling. Admit “I Suck” liberally. It will substitute a chronic pain for an acute one. But facing those thoughts is the only way through them.
  • Start at the Bottom – Push through your pride and start back at the bottom. If quitting your boring job to pursue your dreams means a cut in salary, you might have to take it. Losing one relationship may mean you need to stumble in your dating life.
  • Find an Anchor – Find something that gives you self-worth. Anchor yourself in something more permanent so your self-esteem doesn’t crash when you face the “I Suck” moment. This could be family, spiritual beliefs, knowledge, close friends, skills or even the present.

You Don’t Really Suck

“I Suck” moments are an illusion in themselves. As painful as they are, once you go to the other side, you can’t imagine not having done it sooner. Although it may appear to be a dip in quality of life, the opposite often occurs. Looking back, the “I Suck” was more brief than it had first appeared.