“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.”
On a beautiful sunny morning, while walking to work, you meet someone, who asked you for a small loan, months ago, but haven’t paid back yet. He smiles at you, says a nice “good morning”, and keeps walking.
How would you react in this situation?
You might think:
“What is he thinking? Does he think that I have amnesia?”
“He might at least show some respect, and say that he is doing his best to pay me back the loan.”
The encounter with him might ruin your day. You’ll probably keep thinking all day long about the friend and the loan you gave him, while feeling angry and resentful.
Every day, we go through many similar incidents. Some of them are easy to deal with, some are a bit unpleasant, and some are annoying, disturbing and sometimes, unbearable.
You need to make a choice.
You need to make a choice and stand by it, to accept to be unhappy or to choose to feel happy.
- You can choose to dwell on an unhappy event all day long. You may also choose to refuse to think about it, and focus on other events that make you feel happy and bring a smile to your face.
- You might have experienced unpleasantness. You might have suffered from some humiliation, disrespect or anger, but you do not have to let them influence your reactions and feelings.
- You might not be able to change people’s behavior, but you can control your reactions, your response, and whether to let their behavior and their actions affect you.
If you let external events influence your moods, you will be at the mercy of these forces and influences. You will lose your inner poise and your happiness. You will allow your happiness to be determined by other people and by external influences.
Choose happiness, contentment and joy as a way of life.
Choose to be happy, and strive, no matter how difficult it might be, to reject, ignore and refuse to associate with unhappy thoughts and feelings.
This would require some effort on your part. Sometimes, you might fall back into the habit of dwelling on unhappiness, but gradually, you will learn to be happy and content.
Choose to free yourself from outer influences. Prefer happiness to unhappiness. It is your attitude that makes you feel happy or unhappy.
Whenever there is a hard job to be done I assign it to a lazy man. He is sure to find an easy way of doing it.
Laziness is a fairly underrated virtue. It’s synonym made the short list of deadly sins (sloth) and it is often seen as the major culprit behind a lack of success (he’s smart but he lacks discipline). I happen to think the opposite. Laziness quite often means efficiency and when you combine laziness with a strong drive you end up with the desire to find the most efficient solution possible.
I’ve been called lazy more than a few times. Laziness allows me to ask questions that, “nose to the grindstone,” types would completely avoid. Here is a short list of important questions that lazy people ask of themselves that other people don’t:
- Why am I doing this?
- Why am I doing it this way?
- What am I trying to get out of this?
- Is this the best way to get this done?
- What would happen if I didn’t do it at all?
I’ve been called lazy a few times by hard-working people simply because I ask those questions when they refuse to. I don’t do tasks that don’t have any apparent value. I’m ruthless in seeking a more efficient method to do something. And I challenge assumptions about what has to get done.
Laziness Helps You Refocus on What is Most Important
Being slothful in my approach to goal setting allows me to cut away anything that doesn’t have to be done. In working on big goals this is a crucial skill if you want to achieve them. Hard working people can end up spending days, weeks or months on one element of a goal only to realize that there was an available solution that could have taken less than half the time.
When working on my interactive goal-setting program, I started by designing my own interface code. But a few days into writing it, laziness kicked in and I couldn’t help feeling highly inefficient. Sure enough there was a plugin I could buy for a little over twenty bucks that offered the basic functionality I needed.
Laziness + Drive = Productivity
Lazy people aren’t lazy all the time. Unless the person has extremely low energy, even the laziest people still find time to surf the web, play games or socialize with friends. A lot of lazy people aren’t really lacking willpower, just some motivation.
Without a compelling drive being disciplined just makes you look busy to outside observers when you really aren’t getting anything done. Laziness only becomes apparent because without a strong drive, slothful people stop doing just about anything not necessary for survival or enjoyment.
I’m a lazy person at heart. Even though I woke up a little after five am to write this post and finish another chapter , deep down I’m a very lazy person. I need a compelling drive to keep me busy. Without a strong drive, I’d lay in bed until after noon and watch television all day.
But once you create that drive, either through explicitly setting goals or opening your imagination to new possibilities, laziness becomes a tool not a curse. Instead of using your laziness to avoid work, you use it to maximize your resources.
Laziness Beats Willpower (and Efficiency) Any Time
Willpower has it’s place, but for every drop of willpower you exert there should be a tonne of laziness that has been used before it. If you are having to use excessive willpower to reach a goal, often it is because you either haven’t created enough drive or you haven’t used enough laziness to discover a more efficient path.
I’m using laziness as more than just a synonym for efficiency. Efficiency is good, but often trying to be efficient doesn’t really ask the right questions. Simple efficiency asks, “How can I do this better.” It is true laziness that asks, “Why am I doing this in the first place?”
As a holistic learner I’ve never been big on studying. While everyone around me chastised me for laziness, I didn’t ask, “How can I study better?” I asked myself why I should bother to study at all. If I didn’t need to there wasn’t much point in spending time and exerting willpower for a similar grade.
True laziness takes a bit of courage as well. It can be very difficult for hardworking person to admit to themselves that they just wasted a bunch of time and energy on something that doesn’t matter.
Unleash the Laziness Within You
Be really lazy today. Whenever you have to do something, follow it up with the question, “Why?” If you can’t come up with a good answer, don’t do it. If it is a necessity for your job or survival, find the most efficient way to get it off your schedule. Delegate it to someone else. Find a way to get it done as soon as possible so you can move to more important things.
The Emperor Has No Clothes On Isn’t Getting Work Done
The scary part of being lazy is it leaves you naked. You no longer have your insulating cone of busyness to make you feel productive. The work you do actually has to mean something in order to get done. Instead of relying on willpower you rely on drive. Strip away your delusions of productivity by using this most underrated virtue.
WHAT ! you see right now,what’s going on right now,where you are right now, none of those things represent what you’re truly capable of. whether its the most wonderful time in your life or you’re in the pits doesn’t matter if you’re focused on your destiny
Keep on pushing ahead because there is more inside you than what you are right now. sooner or later,caterpillars turn into butterflies,tadpole turn into frogs,and eggs turn into chickens. let your vision of your destiny draw out of you the person you really are. when the appointed time comes, you will transform into the fullness of what you were created to be.
Remember, keep looking towards whats ahead while you draw on the strength of lessons learned from the past.Have faith in yourself and in God,there is something inside you yet to be discovered,……..FOCUS YOUR ATTENTION ON GETTING IT…..
PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT,IF YOU FOUND IT SCINTILLATING,AND LIKE OR RE-BLOG THANKS…..
“ I don’t know” are three of the most powerful words you can utter. That simple confession unlocks the doors to information and exposure. these three powerful words are courageous,spoken most often by those who have a strong sense of self-worth. curious minds utter ‘i don’t know” because they want to stretch and extend themselves beyond their limited sphere. their confession of ignorance on a particular topic opens the way for teachers to enter and offer enlightenment,wisdom insight,and information
Do you know it takes courage to admit you don’t know something, and courage again to go after knowledge to fill that void. Destiny seekers are secure in themselves,willing to admit they don’t know something.
There’s a saying that you cant learn to swim and hang on to the edge of the pool at the same time……The way you learn to swim is by getting in the water…..
To expand your knowledge and exposure in life,let go of the easy and familiar.,always get ready to know even if you know it,i don’t know act to learn more is important,you don’t have to be mister know all in every matter,always try to know,learn more to achieve a common goal in life……
LET GO AND LEARN!
Spice TV producer, Style Consultant and all round fashion Sharon Ojong shares 3 looks on how to blend tradition with trends.
As Lagos is in the thick of Lagos Fashion and Design Week, Sharon puts a spin on traditional anakra.
Working with the ever precise Tope Horpload and a host of others on this #HLFDW Special Series, Ojong offers a different perspective to each look.
While media folks like us will be working and running around in a slight improvement of our daily, office-bound outfits, what to wear could be the biggest question for anyone attending the Lagos Fashion and Design Week.
Well, I have three outfit ideas on how you can slay this fashion week while combining the timelessness of Ankara with the freshest of fashion trends – Denim Jacket, Palazzo pants and pinafore.
Watch Sharon Ojong in the video below as she sashays through the fashion week special looks.Check out Sharon’s three looks in more detail below and tell us what you think – Yay or Nay?Look 1.The Unconventional Look(The Robe by @UdoCutlture)
HOW TO HAVE A GOOD SINGING VOICE
BY Kenzii peters obiadi
Most professional singers take singing lessons, but if you cannot afford them or do not otherwise have access to a professional singing coach, there are a few things you can teach yourself. To warm up your voice before singing and void vocal string while singing to keep control. Recording yourself, listening for errors, and letting others listen to you sing will also make it easier to improve your singing voice.
TIPS TO HELP YOU IN YOUR VOICE TRAINING
- Relax your vocal chords before you start singing. Strained vocal chords mean you won’t hit high notes well. Try saying ‘‘Mum…mum…mum…’’ in different tones instead of ‘‘do re mi’’ warm up for at least a few minutes.
- Don’t force the high note. When you need to hit a high note, don’t try too hard or tighten up. Relax and let your voice rise smoothly, but still maintain control. If you force your voice, you will end up hitting a bad note.
- Drink plenty cool water (not iced) or have hot/warm tea. This is best for your vocal cords because it simply hydrates them and helps clear away excess mucus. Cold water will shock and tighten your vocal chords. Avoid milk, soft drinks, and other similar drinks because the lactose in milk and other sugars (and sugar substitutes) in soft drinks cause phlegm and mucus to build up in your throat.
- Practice breathing deeply. Make a habit of breathing from your diaphragm, by doing it consistently for weeks, instead of gasping and/or heaving with your chest for air. If you are breathing properly, the bottom part of your belly will expand, not your rib cage.
- Practice phrasing. The right time to breathe while singing is between phrases (words and groups sung together). In ordinary writing, phrases are often set off by commas or other punctuation, but punctuation may be absent from lyrics Scan the lyrics before you start singing. Figure out where natural pauses and breaks are. When singing, take breaths at these breaks. You have to practice phrasing/breathing so that you can sing without straining, gasping for breath or running out of air.
- Record yourself. Record yourself while singing to see whether your voice sounds pleasant or irritating. Listen to your voice with an open mind, and don’t try to convince yourself that it sounds right, if it really doesn’t.
- Improve and experiment. Try to make your timing and phrasing fit the song better. Experiment with varying amounts of nasal and chest tones, timbres, accents and styles to see what suits you. Have a good friend listen who can give you a constructive and helpful criticism.
- Practice singing in front of people. Looking at people while singing may feel awkward at first, but with practice you get used to it. If singing for an audience makes you nervous, try looking at their foreheads or over their shoulders. Practices singing in front of a mirror before you perform for an audience.
- Be open to criticism. Try performing before friends or family, whichever you feel more comfortable with. Family members will usually try to sugarcoat reactions and not tell you their true opinions, while good friends may be more open and free with their thoughts. Be ready to laugh at yourself.
- Enjoy yourself, show confidence by smiling a little, have some fun. It might just end up being massive success for you
- Be persistent. Talent helps, but persistence is most important. Continue developing your song list, vocal techniques, and voice strength and stage presence. Continue learning to “sell your song” to the audience, using hand motions ( a hand on your heart, temple or pointing to heavens, walking a little, each at the right moment ) with sincerity, maybe a slight “tear” of sorrow in your voice or humorous timing as fits each songs. Just don’t give up.
N.B Now a lot of people have been asking a lot of questions, like beside warm water or tea, what else is good for the throat before singing, my dear in my own view pineapple juice can be good for a sore throat, especially before a performance as throat numbing drinks also numb the vocals, listen if you learn how to sing with proper technique and practice often, then you can learn to sing well. If you sound nasally, for example, you need to work with a vocal coach to fix that, however, it’s important to be realistic too, as not everyone is able to sing even if they have to be born with an amazing voice or learn.
We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.
AuntGranny Charles R. Swindoll
The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Don’t wait for extraordinary opportunities. Seize common occasions and make them great. Weak men wait for opportunities; strong men make them.
Orison Swett Marden
In every difficult situation is potential value.
Norman Vincent Peale
The freedom to move forward to new opportunities and to produce results comes from living in the present not the past.
If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.
Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging.
Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.
If you wait for opportunities to occur, you will be one of the crowd.
Edward de Bono
He who refuses to embrace a unique opportunity loses the prize as surely as if he had failed.
Most people don’t recognize opportunity when it comes, because it’s usually dressed in overalls and looks a lot like work.
Thomas Alva Edison
It sometimes seems that intense desire creates not only its own opportunities, but its own talents.
There is no scarcity of opportunity to make a living at what you love; there’s only a scarcity of resolve to make it happen.
If you don’t act now while it’s fresh in your mind, it will probably join the list of things you were always going to do but never quite got around to. Chances are you’ll also miss some opportunities.
What Makes Successful People Successful? The 5 Common Traits
When it comes to living a successful life, everyone seems to want a piece of it. Nobody wants to live a mediocre life, everyone wants to be successful.
Unfortunately, those who have truly accomplished remarkable results in life are rare. And this is what makes being successful something even more precious.
If you want to be successful, no matter whether it is in your career, in your business, investment, financially, spiritually or in as a family member, you must first make the decision that you want it.
Most people are not committed and they did not dare to make the decision to strive for what they want in life. Success will come to you only when you are fully committed and decided that you will go for it no matter what.
So what makes successful people successful? What do they do differently than ordinary people that lead them to live an amazing life?
Here are 5 common traits that separate the extraordinary from the normal…
1. Successful People Have Big Dreams
Yes, I know you have heard this at least a million times. However, I just wanted to remind you once more, successful people dream big.
Most people who are not living their dreams because they do not dare to dream big. In fact, most people dream small. They aim for paying the bills, they just want to get by, they just want to be happy, etc, etc.
When you aim for the stars, you will at least hit the moon. Sadly, most people are not even aiming for the ceiling, no wonder why they are not producing remarkable results in life.
If you are serious about living a successful life, the first step you need to do is to get yourself out of ordinary and get into the extraordinary. And the only way to do this is to start by thinking big.
You have to start from your thought. Your thinking will shape your life. If you think about success all the time, you will achieve it. However, if you think about failure and defeat all the time, you will live in mediocrity. You will live your thoughts.
2. Successful People Are Always On The Move
Do know that besides thinking big, successful people are also always on the move? They are proactive people who go and make things happen rather than waiting for things to happen.
You have to be the same. Take action and make your dreams a reality. A lot of people want to be successful but they are not willing to take the action to make their dreams come true.
They will tell you that they want to be rich, they want to build a successful business, they want to own the big house and drive the luxury car, but they are not willing to work hard on their goals.
Never let that happen to you. We all know that it is not easy to live an extraordinary life, but that is what separates the successful from the normal.
So commit to taking at least 5 small actions that will move you toward your goals each day. If you can take only 5 small actions a day, within a year, you will be achieving 1825 small victories.
And this will definitely bring you result you want. Success requires consistency. So be consistent and take action every day.
3. Successful People Will Never Give Up
When you study successful people who have created amazing result in life, people such as Walt Disney, Colonel Sanders, Richard Branson, Michael Jordan, Jack Ma, etc, you will see that they simply refuse to quit.
The journey to success is tough and you will go through a lot of failures and setbacks. However, never let them get you down.
You need to have the confidence to move on and to turn failures into learning lessons.
Walt Disney has been fired by a newspaper editor saying that he has no creative imagination, but Disney never gave up and continued on to pursue his dreams. This is how we have Disneyland today.
When Jack Ma started Alibaba, nobody believed that he can succeed and everyone said that he was crazy and refuse to venture along with him. And because he never gave up, he went to build one of the biggest e-commerce websites in the world.
The same goes for Michael Jordan and the rest. Michael Jordan was not born with outstanding basketball skill; he trained himself to be talented with it!
Great people will never quit and they will never give up on their dreams. They will hold on and continue to work hard even when every other people tell them it is impossible.
4. Successful People Always Expect Positive Things
After reading success stories from great people around the world, I found that successful people are always positive and they expect positive things to happen in the future.
Think about it, do you think Steve Jobs will go on and launched iPhone or iPad if he did not have any confidence that his products can sell?
Do you think Richard Branson will start an airline if he is always negative and thinks that the market and the economy are bad?
Of course not, they expect that their business and their services can sell and they have high confident with what they do. This is what makes them go on and put in extraordinary effort into their business.
You have to be the same. Always think positive and always expect the best. It does not matter even if you are not successful right now, what matters most is where you would want to go and are you willing to work for it.
5. Successful People Believe In Their Dreams
Do you believe in yourself and your dreams? If you don’t believe in your dreams, who else would?
It is your dream and you have to protect it. Never let anyone says that it is impossible or it cannot be done. The Wright Brothers invented the airplanes when people told them that it was impossible.
Arnold Schwarzenegger works hard and ended up being a movie star when people told him that it was not possible for him to act because his body was too big and his name was difficult to pronounce. Can you imagine that?
You have to believe in your dreams and yourself. You have to trust that somehow things will work out for you. And you must always prepare yourself and work on your dreams.
Always dream big, take consistent action, never give up, think positively and most importantly, believe in yourself and your dreams.
If you are serious about achieving outstanding success in life, read, study and learn from successful people. Learn from both their failures and their successes.
Do what they do that make them successful and avoid making the same mistakes they have made. Take massive action and never quit until you reached your goals.
So do you know what you need to do to be successful right now?
Do you promise yourself to make changes in your day-to-day life but do nothing about it, and don’t even try?
Do you try to make changes, but fail?
Do you quit, the moment you confront obstacles?
These experiences are quite common, and they often create feelings of frustration, and sometimes, even anger. Why does this happen, and what you can you do about it?
We are all busy all the time with work, studies, children, family matters, and various tasks and obligations. These activities take a lot of our time and energy, and often, because we are so busy, we forget our promises and plans. We promise ourselves to make changes in our lives, but our obligations and daily activities do not leave time for them.
You need to ask yourself, whether all your daily tasks and obligations are important. You need to ask yourself, which obligations and activities you can dispense with, which ones you can do differently, so that can save time and energy for other matters.
Do you, sometimes, feel as if you are on a merry-go-around, and cannot get down? Do you do everything the same way every day, going through the same daily routine from the moment you wake up to the moment you fall asleep?
You need to get off this merry-go-around, and starting living your life. This might seem impossible, but you can do so by taking small steps.
Start doing one small thing differently, for example:
- Get up ten minutes earlier in the morning.
- If you usually skip breakfast, find the time to eat in the morning.
- Show more interest in the people who work with you.
- If you want to read a certain book, and never have the time, start by reading just 3-4 pages a day.
- Do you often promise yourself to clean and rearrange your drawers but never have the time for this? Now is the right time. Clean and rearrange the contents of just one drawer.
- Do you often think of talking on the phone with a friend, with whom you have not spoken for a long time? Just pick the phone now, and call him or her, before you start looking for excuses why not to do so right now.
To make changes, you have to take action. Otherwise, you will never make the changes you want. As you see from the examples, you do not need to take big steps. Small steps are enough, because they are easier, and hardly evoke any inner resistance. When you succeed with small matters, you gain the confidence and motivation to do bigger things.
There is something important that you should know. Often when we start something new, or when we want to make some changes in our life, we often encounter various obstacles. These obstacles are not necessarily new. They have been there all the time, There is something important that you should know.. Now, that we want to make changes in our life, we are more than ever aware of them, and we might believe that are there just to annoy us and stand in our way, which is not true.
Another obstacle we might encounter is other people’s opposition and disapproval. People do not like changes, and they therefore, instinctively oppose and disapprove change. For this reason, it is advisable not to talk about the changes we are making in our life. This can save us a lot of confrontations and opposition.
What can you do to follow through with your decision to make changes in your life?
As I said earlier, start with just one simple, small project. This will pose less inner and outer resistance, and would be easier to follow through. Then, proceed to another one that requires more effort or change. Gradually, you will have more inner strength, confidence and motivation, and experience less inner and resistance from other people.
To make it easier, a little stronger willpower and self-discipline would be most helpful. You can find information and a few simple exercises to develop these skills in my article, Willpower and Self-Discipline Guidance and Exercises.